I had cruised on the Constellation in 2010 on a round-trip San Diego to Hawaii. Since then she had undergone a 50 million dollar makeover according to the cruise line, much of which I assumed was pure hype. Of course I expected new carpet, a paint job, and flat screen TVs.

What I did not expect to see was a new ship, which is, for all intents and purposes, what I found built from the hull up in place of the old Constellation. Old meeting rooms were combined into new ones, a frosted counter surrounded the new Martini bar, Michael’s Club now offered 64 International Craft Beers to go with it’s extensive list of wines and spirits. A new iLounge with all Apple computers was added, (computers and iDevices were for sale as well). More suites were added with Celebrity suites having their own private balconies, an entirely upscale class of cabin (Aqua Class) was added with it’s own private restaurant Blu (the escargot was delicious!), padded sun loungers ringed both ends of the pool deck; this simply was not the Constellation I spent 15 days on in 2010.

Did someone say food? There is the re-built San Marcos which takes the place of the old Cosmopolitan. This is the heart of the dining experience on board, with appetizers I can’t pronounce at first (but learn quickly so in case the occasion presents itself I can order it again). Try the Spiced Duck Rillettes Quenelle and Beef Carpaccio maybe. Entree; try the Barolo Braised Beef Short Ribs with creamy truffle Polenta, or the Cajun Spiced Drum Fish.

Breakfast fare plus specialty items such as Eggs Benedict and Belgian Waffles with maple syrup start the San Marcos day at sea. Lunch varies but will definitely test the most discriminating palate.

Not in the mood for a large venue? Try my favorite, the Tuscan Grille. Start with Fritto de Calamari or Capricio de Monzo. Don’t worry names will forever be in your vocabulary before you’re half through the meal. Soup or salad? I recommend the Zuppa de Cipolle (Onion Soup) or the Pomodoro e Mozzarella di Bufala (Mozzarella and Tomatoes). For the mid-course Pappardelle Alfredo (Lobster Alfredo) or the Ravioli al Fungue (Wild Mushroom Ravioli). For the main course, (hands down) go with the Filetto die Manzo Rustico (Filet Mignon), the most perfect cut of beef this side of Kansas City. Not in the mood for meat? The Red Snapper is a must. Trust me, this is the best of the best of all the ship board restaurants.

Want something light? The Bistro on Five fits the bill (with homemade) soups, crepes and Paninis. Thirsty? Cellarmasters Wine Bar is available with a unique wine dispensing system. Select wine by the glass. The Pool Grille on the pool deck is available if you’re ready for a good old-fashioned hot dog or hamburger, and there is always a line at the authentic Italian Gelateria. Mama mia! There is so much to choose from there it’s no wonder they selected a collosal, rotund sculpture of a nude woman to guard the Thalassotherapy: not a pre-historic Pleistocene animal, but a state of the art spa and a huge whirlpool spouting jets of water out of four large pipes. Definitely a massage waiting to happen. Unlike the one on the Nieuw Amsterdam, access is free!

Add to that a gym to rival any exercise gym on land. Trust me. You will need the gym. You are simply not going to avoid the calories available at restaurants and eateries scattered throughout the ship.

The sale of staterooms on the Constellation has been brisk and shows no sign of slowing. My question is this: if you’re not already booked, why not?

This is by far the best Big Nude Boat we’ve ever offered.

– Tom